


Brand New Dance

by overthetiber



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Fashion & Couture, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Inexplicable House Sharing, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overthetiber/pseuds/overthetiber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jade enlists Kanaya, among others, for help on a Very Secret Project; Rose finds herself at the mercy of yet another tentacle monster; and Feferi may be breeding zombies in the basement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brand New Dance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vociferocity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vociferocity/gifts).



\-- gardenGnostic [ GG ] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:38 --

GG: hi rose!!!   
TT: Hello, Jade.   
TT: To what do I owe the pleasure?   
GG: hehehe!   
GG: um…   
GG: well something weird might happen in your room pretty soon! so i just wanted to warn you   
GG: dont worry, we promise to clean it up!!!   
GG: ertwoi   
GG: IUETDJKdfks   
GG: jjkl   
GG: ooasdps gotta; go, bye rose!

\-- gardenGnostic [ GG ] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TT: …   
TT: I shouldn’t even ask, should I.

 

 

 

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 12:50 --

GG: are you busy right now?   
GA: Not Really   
GG: do you want to be?   
GA: That Depends On The Activity Id Be Busy With   
GG: ok   
GG: ;)   
GG: soooooooo   
GA: So   
GG: i had an idea!   
GA: Oh My   
GG: want to hear about it?   
GG: ;) ;) ;)   
GA: I Suspect Youll Tell Me About It Regardless Of How I Answer That   
GA: Go Ahead   
GG: :D   
GG: i was thinking we could have.............   
GG: .....................   
GA: Jade   
GG: .............................   
GA: Jade Is Something Wrong With Your Keyboard   
GG: .........a fashion show!   
GA: What   
GG: its where you dress up in cool outfits and walk down a raised platform to show them off!   
GG: you could design the outfits   
GG: i know at least aradia and terezi would probably also be interested   
GG: what do you think?   
GA: Hmm   
GA: It Sounds Enjoyable And Diverting But Im Not Sure What The Point Is   
GG: me neither   
GG: i guess the point would be that it was enjoyable and diverting!   
GA: Thats Fair   
GA: Our Current Situation Affords Few Such Opportunities   
GA: I Guess Im   
GA: Interested   
GG: yay!!!!!   
GA: So What Does This Entail Exactly   
GG: well we need patterns for the outfits   
GG: something to make them out of   
GG: models, an audience, a place to hold the show   
GG: invitations and decorations and stuff!   
GA: Oh Yes Aradia Will Like That   
GG: hehe   
GA: Which Location With A Raised Platform Do You Think Is Most Suited To This Event   
GG: hmmmmm   
GG: maybe the basement?   
GA: You Mean The Basement Thats Packed With Hordes Of Ravening Undead   
GG: :O   
GA: Ok That Was An Exaggeration   
GA: And I Dont Know What Other Basement You Couldve Meant   
GA: However There Are A Number Of Things Lurking In It And Most Of Them Smell Dead   
GA: Also Karkat Insists He Was Chased Up The Stairs By A Rabid Woofbeast But That May Have Been   
GA: Um   
GG: hahaha yeah that was me :p   
GG: now that you mention it, i think feferi might be doing experiments with her life powers in that basement!   
GA: Then Its Definitely Unsuitable   
GG: where else?   
GA: Uh   
GA: Well   
GA: Theres The Food Preparation Block   
GG: i guess if we cleaned it.............   
GG: oh   
GG: nepeta is pestering me!   
GG: i asked her about the same thing a while ago   
GG: ill open a secret board and we can discuss it more there   
GG: talk to you later kanaya!   
GG: <3   
GA: Bye Jade

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

  
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board top secret project!!!

CGG: hey everyone!  
CGG: i haven't actually made one of these before  
CGG: i guess we're all just supposed to tell each other what's going on  
CGG: and how far we've gotten on our tasks!  
CGG: so.......................................  
CGG: :) :) :)  
CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [GA] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CGA: Theres Little To Report On My End  
CGA: One Sewing Machine Has Been Retrieved  
CGA: And Were Still Waiting For Nepeta To Secure An Alchemiter  
FUTURE arsenicCatnip [FAC] 1:43 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.  
FAC: :33 < *the venerable ampawssador pokes her head in*  
FAC: :33 < *triumphantly*  
FAC: :33 < *but also wearily*  
FAC: :33 < sorry it took so long, he was being even more obstinate than usual! but i wore him down  
CURRENT centaursTesticle [CT] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CCT: D --> What  
FAC: :33 < oh nooo  
FAC banned CCT from responding to memo.  
FAC: :33 < i have to go  
FAC: :33 < s33 you later efurrybody!  
FAC banned herself from responding to memo.  
CGG: bye nepeta!  
CGA: See You Later  
CGG: so we have some time before the alchemiter becomes available  
CGG: kanaya how are your patterns coming along?  
CGA: Given Sufficient Resources I Could Clothe A Small Colony  
CGA: I Mean The Inhabitants Of One But I Assume You Gathered That  
CGG: haha, yeah :B  
CGA: There Is One Detail Im Not Clear On  
CGG: ???  
CGA: Whos Participating In This Exactly So Far  
CGG: lol  
CGG: well theres you and me obviously  
CGG: nepeta  
CGG: equius if he isnt an ass about it  
FUTURE centaursTesticle [FCT] 1:34 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.  
FCT: D --> E%cuse me  
CGG banned FCT from responding to memo.  
CGG: rose and feferi are off limits for now, because i want their outfits to be a surprise!  
CGG: also feferi is really bad at keeping exciting things secret…  
CGG: terezis off doing something with dave i think  
CGA: How About Vriska  
CGG: :/  
CGA: Yes Thats Pretty Much How I Feel Too  
CGG: oh!  
CGG: theres aradia  
CGG: i completely forgot about her time powers!  
CGG: i wonder if she could go into the future and start alchemizing stuff  
CURRENT apocalypseArisen [CAA] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CAA: im on it!  
CGG: :D :D :D  
CGA: Why Dont We All Meet In My Respiteblock To Discuss This  
CAA: would it be ok if i brought some designs of my own?  
CGA: Certainly  
CGG: ok see you guys then!  
CGA ceased responding to memo.  
CAA ceased responding to memo.  
FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 1:12 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.  
FCA: wwhale wwhale wwhale wwhat havve wwe here  
FCA: cod that wwas a preposterous amount a wws  
CGG: shit  
CGG banned FCA from responding to memo.  
CGG closed memo.

 

 

  


\-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:05 --

CC: I tried to stop )(im. But )(e wouldn't listen. 38(   
GG: who?   
CC: ---Eridan, of course!   
CC: )(e's )(eading your way.   
CC: Wit)( a chest full of wands.   
GG: :O!   
CC: C)(ill out, I t)(ink )(e wants you to make t)(em into a dress.   
CC: But still. So ---EMBARRASSING!   
GG: ummm   
CC: Seariously, I made )(im promise )(e wasn't going to )(urt anyone.   
CC: And none of t)(em work anyway!    
CC: Just t)(oug)(t I s)(ould warn you.   
GG: thanks i guess   
CC: 38|   
GG: :|   
CC: 38D   
GG: :|   
CC: 3;D   
GG: :|   
CC: 38DDDDD   
GG: :|   
CC: FIN----------------------E.   
GG: hehehehehehehehehe

\-- cuttlefishCuller [ CC ] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

 

 

 

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:26 --

GG: psst   
GG: dave!   
TG: hey   
\-- gardenGnostic [GG] sent turntechGodhead [TG] the file "invitation.jpg" --   
TG: thanks   
GG: ;)

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

 

 

  
\-- ectoBiologist [ EB ] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 16:02 --

EB: hi jade   
GG: hi john!   
GG: was there something you wanted to ask?   
EB: not really.   
EB: just wondering why the hallway outside rose's room is full of disemboweled puppets.   
GG: um   
EB: i mean, if you know anything about that.   
EB: not saying you do.   
GG: ummmm   
GG: hold on!

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

 

 

 

\-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 16:18 --  


AT: uH, hELLO JADE,,   
AT: nOT TO BE, pRESUMPTUOUS, oR RUDE,   
AT: bUT I WONDERED,,   
GG: yes?   
AT: a MYSTERIOUS ARTIFACT RECENTLY APPEARED IN MY RESPITEBLOCK   
AT: aND I WONDERED, iF YOU MIGHT HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF ITS ORIGIN,   
AT: tHERE ARE RUMORS, yOU SEE,   
GG: is it a matadors costume with fairy wings?   
AT: uHHH, i AM NOT SURE WHAT A MATADOR IS,   
AT: bUT IT DOES HAVE FAIRY WINGS, sO YES, i THINK SO,   
GG: its from aradia   
AT: oH,,,,,,,,   
GG: she wants to know if youll be in our fashion show   
AT: i DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS EITHER,   
GG: hi tavros this is aradia!   
GG: please come itll be so fun   
GG: wont it? jade and kanaya?   
GG: sure!   
GG: Yes   
AT: aLTHOUGH YOUR TESTIMONIALS, aRE PERSUASIVE AND ENTICING,   
AT: i'M NOT SURE I'D FEEL COMFORTABLE,   
AT: aM I EXPECTED TO FLY,   
AT: oR PERFORM ANY FLYING LIKE ACTIVITY,   
GG: nope   
AT: oKAY,   
GG: pleeeeeeaaaase come, tavros!   
GG: were on the first floor, equius is guarding the room   
GG: tell him the password is "swordfish"   
AT: sWORDFISH,   
GG: see you then tavros!   
AT: sEE YOU, aRADIA, aND JADE AND KANAYA, aND ANYONE ELSE WHO IS THERE,

\-- adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --  


 

 

 

CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG]  RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board top secret project!!!

CGG: models post here if you experience any hassles!  
CGG: the designers and i will be on hand to troubleshoot :)  
FUTURE gardenGnostic [FGG] 6:21 HOURS FROM NOW began responding to memo.  
FGG: this was a good idea  
FGG: i just wish we could’ve used it more :/  
FGG ceased responding to memo.  
CGG: wow, ok then, future me!  
CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CTT: Is my dress supposed to be...  
CTT: ...alive?  
CGG: oooh yes rose that was the idea  
CGG: is it not ok?  
PAST cuttlefishCuller [PCC] 7 MINUTES AGO began responding to memo.  
PCC: I can fix t)(at!  
CTT: That's all right, Feferi.  
CTT: I will adapt.  
CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CCA: some loww dowwn dirty thief made off wwith my rings  
CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CGA: Theyre Right Where You Left Them  
CGA: And Dont Try To Take Them Back Yet I Havent Finished Alchemizing This  
CGA: Uh  
CGA: What Did You Call This Again Jade  
CGG: a bustier!  
CGA: Yes That  
CGA: Anyway If You Want To Wear It Youre Going To Have To Wait  
CCA: stop talkin dowwn to me like im some kind a wwiggler cod  
CGA: If You Dont Want To Be Treated Like A Wiggler Then Maybe You Shouldnt Behave Like One  
CCA: excuse me my behavviors by definition irreproachable on account a my noble blood  
CCA: or did you forget that  
CCA: also maybe you should look in the mirror an see howw you like it  
CGG: um, guys...  
CTT: On second thought, Feferi...  
PCC: I'll be over in a seacond.  
CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CAT: i WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY, tHAT MY COSTUME,  
CAT: oR ENSEMBLE, oR WHATEVER TERM IS PREFERRED,  
CAT: iS REALLY GREAT, sO THANK YOU,  
CURRENT apocalypseArisen [CAA] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CAA: haha youre welcome tavros!  
CGG: guys  
CCA: you made this too small on porpoise didnt you  
CGA: Why Would I Do That Its My Goal To See You Complain Less Not More  
CTT: I'd snicker, if to do so wouldn't cause the tentacles that have been slowly and inextricably tightening around my neck for the last half-hour to thrash in panic and possibly snap it.  
CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CAC: :OO < oh no rose!  
CTT: It's livable, so long as I keep still.  
CAC: :((  
CTT: Incidentally, is the trim on your robe made of...puppet bowels?  
CAC: :33 < yes! it's so soft and fluffy :33  
CTT: Huh.  
CGG: guys!!!  
CURRENT centaursTesticle [CCT] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CCT: D --> Ahem  
CCT: D --> May I have your attention, everyone  
CCT: D --> The guests are here  
CAA: but we still have 22 minutes!  
CCT: D --> I know  
CCT: D --> I tried to reason with them  
CCT: D --> But  
CCT: D --> I'm afraid they can't be held back much longer  
CGA: Oh No  
CCA: oh cod  
CGG: are you sure? ill go talk to them  
FUTURE gardenGnostic [FGG2] 3 MINUTES FROM NOW began responding to memo.  
FGG2: yep equius is right  
CURRENT cuttlefishCuller [CCC] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.  
CCC: S)(OWTIM--------E, --EV---ERYON---E!  
FGG2 closed memo.

 

 

  


\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 22:49 --

GG: kanaya!!!   
GG: are you awake?   
GA: I Was Just About To Retire To My Recuperacoon   
GG: oh   
GG: in that case i wont keep you for too long!   
GA: Its All Right   
GA: What Did You Want To Talk About   
GG: well...   
GG: i had a lot of fun today   
GA: So Did I   
GG: youre really good at designing fashion things :)   
GG: like that dress you made for rose was sooooo pretty   
GG: even if it did try to kill her :o   
GA: I Still Feel Bad About That   
GA: I Assumed The Creatures Were Too Young And Weak To Inflict Any Serious Damage   
GA: Or Any Damage At All Really   
GG: ............wow   
GA: ?   
GG: hehe   
GG: cultural differences i guess   
GA: I Guess   
GG: everything else turned out well though!   
GG: even if roses dress tried to kill her   
GG: and we never found a cummerbund that equius couldnt break   
GG: and karkat and vriska wouldnt stop talking for half the show   
GG: and gamzee stole eridans boots   
GA: Yes That Was Kind Of Funny Especially When He Thought It Was A Black Flirtation   
GA: Also Dont Forget What Dave Said About The Decorations   
GG: hahahaha that was so funny!   
GA: A Lot Of Things Could Nominally Be Said To Have Gone Wrong   
GA: But It Seemed Like Everyone Had A Good Time   
GA: Which Was The Purpose Right   
GG: right!   
GG: would you be interested in doing other stuff like this?   
GG: as my.......co-captain?   
GA: Im Not Sure What Were Captains Of But Yes   
GG: yay!!!!!!! <333   
GA: Um   
GA: Jade   
GA: This May Not Be The Time But Theres Something   
GG: yes kanaya?   
GA: Never Mind   
GG: awww   
GG: ok :(   
GG: id better let you get into your alien cocoon bed anyway   
GA: No Wait   
GA: Jade I   
GG: out with it kanaya!   
GA: Ok   
GA: I   
GA: Ok   
GA: I Believe Ive Developed Some Feelings For You That Could Best Be Characterized As Flushed   
GA: And Im Wondering If Theres Any Chance You Might Someday   
GA: Reciprocate   
GA: If Not Thats Fine And Im Sorry I Brought It Up   
GG: ............................   
GG: you   
GG: are   
GG: so   
GG: silly!!!!!!!   
GA: What   
GG: ive had a crush on you for ages!    
GG: but i didnt know how well we would get along    
GG: in a situation that wasnt life or death.   
GG: except now it turns out we get along really well!   
GG: so   
GG: if you want to go on dates    
GG: or do things like we did today    
GG: or just hang out and have fun together...   
GG: id love to do those things! :D   
GA: So Would I   
GG: cool!!!!! :B   
GA: You Know Ive Always Wondered What That Means   
GG: what?   
GA: Colon And B   
GG: the colon is supposed to be eyes, as it usually is   
GG: the B is buckteeth! like mine. :B   
GA: Ah   
GG: if you did it, it'd probably look like   
GG: hmm   
GG: :K   
GG: no that looks terrible   
GA: 0w0   
GG: whoa   
GG: that's........   
GG: really cute!   
GG: like you :p   
GA: Oh My   
GA: How Do You Make A Blushing Face   
GA: 0/////0   
GG: awwwwww   
GA: Jade Im Sorry But It Is Really Imperative That I Rest Now   
GG: aww ok!   
GG: well talk more tomorrow   
GG: sleep well kanaya <3   
GA: I   
GA: Um   
GA: You Too   
GA: <3

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --   
  



End file.
